Advent Resolutions: Tips to Ring in the New Church Year

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Hey wonderful people and happy new year! At this point, you may be wondering why I’m wishing you a happy new year…in November. I mean, when last we checked, we are still in 2021 (or, as I like to call it, 2020 the sequel). However, for Roman Catholics, a new liturgical year begins on the first Sunday of Advent (which was yesterday). You see, our church has divided the year into liturgical seasons: Advent, Christmas, Ordinary Time, Lent and Easter. Each season has its own focus and symbolism, and I absolutely love it. I mean, it not only allows me to celebrate Christmas longer (for us, it lasts more than a day, and who wouldn’t want more Christmas, right?), but it serves as a reminder to me that life itself has different seasons. So we ring in the new church year with the season of Advent. Even if you’re not Roman Catholic, it is also a new month (which is also a new beginning), plus, there’s no time like the present to renew and deepen your relationship with God.

Advent is a season of joyful preparation for the coming of Jesus Christ, at Christmas, at the end of time (and the end of our individual lives), and even in our day-to-day existence. I view this as an opportunity; just as we deep clean our homes to prepare for Christmas, we could also try to clean our hearts. But it’s so much more than just that. Jesus comes to us every day, in many different ways, but sometimes, we don’t see Him. Maybe we are too distracted, or busy, or our eyes are out of focus so we don’t recognize Him (like the disciples on the road to Emmaus after the resurrection). Or maybe we miss Him because He shows up in an unexpected (or even undesirable) place, (like a stable with animals, instead of, say, a kingly palace). We have a chance to begin again; to ask God to clear the planks from our eyes, so that we can see Jesus where He comes to us. We can make room for Him in our hearts and clear our minds so we can discern the guidance that that Holy Spirit provides. We can even ask for presents: the gifts of the Holy Spirit, a greater sense of the daily presence of God in our lives and help with our (and our loved ones’) struggles. We can look for, and love, Jesus in our neighbours (which, I’ll admit, is hard for me sometimes…some “neighbours” aren’t exactly easy to love).

This may sound corny, but I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, so I thought that, this year, I could make some spiritual new year’s resolutions as part of my Advent experience. Let’s call them “Advent Resolutions.” They’re somewhat like a hybrid: part spiritual new year’s resolution, part Christmas preparation (in the spirit of the Advent season). Bear in mind, though, that before making any resolutions or firm decisions, we should spend some time in prayer, reflection, and self-examination. So are some suggestions for Advent resolutions:

1. Grow in virtue: Choose one virtue that you think you need to improve. In your daily prayer, ask God for growth in this virtue. Do some research: look for bible verses, spiritual books, or stories of the saints relating to your chosen virtue, to inspire and guide you. Come up with a plan on how you could develop and/or incorporate the practice of this virtue in your day-to-day living.
2. Renew your commitment to “that” spiritual practice: You know which practice I mean…the one that you keep intending to do, but haven’t (I have a few of these). Now is the time to renew your commitment to it. But don’t stop there: plan. Don’t just say “I want to do spiritual reading every day,” but decide when, and for how long, and even choose which book you would like to start with. Look for any resources that could help you. For example, I wanted to include more meditative prayer daily, and a good friend of mine introduced me to the “Pray as You Go” app which has daily meditations on the readings from daily Mass. I downloaded the app, and now, praying through that meditation is an enjoyable part of my morning prayer. (This was after months of me trying, and failing, at meditating).
3. Participate in an online retreat: In the midst of a pandemic, where restrictions are constantly being shifted and we may not be able to physically gather, technology can help. Several websites offer free, virtual advent retreats (like praymorenovenas).
4. Do some spiritual housekeeping (otherwise known as the Sacrament of Reconciliation). Spend some time before doing a deep examination of conscience. Open up to God and allow Him to see all of the bad tendencies you want to hide. Sometimes I feel like hiding the less-than-savoury parts of my innermost being from God, which quite frankly, is a stupid idea. God is even more well-acquainted with those parts than I am (He is all-knowing, after all), so hiding from Him makes zero sense. I usually feel so much lighter and better able to avoid falling into serious sin after a good confession.
5. Read: Of course, a bookworm would include a suggestion that involves reading. Read the bible, or the daily readings. Find a good religious book (or religious articles) about Advent. Read from the book of the prophet Isaiah – to me, he is the ultimate Christmas prophet. I’m actually planning to read through Isaiah for Advent this year. I want to really immerse myself in the experience that Israelites had in waiting for the Messiah and in the promises God made to His people while they waited.
6. Review: Sit with God and yourself and go over the last year. What have you done well? Where have you improved? Where would you have liked to have done better? What blessings have you received? What struggles have you gone through? What was your spiritual journey like? Be honest with yourself and with God.
7. Be open and trust God: Cultivate an attitude of openness to God. Rest in the arms of a loving Father who delights in you, accepts you and loves you unconditionally.
8. Find creative ways to cultivate connection and kindness. We may not be able to be physically close to others because of the pandemic, but we can engage them and show care in other ways: praying for them, reaching out via phone call or a message, dropping a present or some groceries, supporting events that give to the less fortunate etc.
9. Make your own Advent wreath or Jesse Tree…or both! I think that sometimes having visible symbols in our immediate surroundings can serve as great reminders. These are also practices that you can get your whole family involved in!

I hope you find these suggestions helpful. Of course, this list is by no means exhaustive.

This year has been a real challenge for all of us. I’ve felt like my faith took a hit many times, given the world’s current situation. But this Advent, I want to renew my faith and trust in a God who loved the world so much, that He gave His only Son. I want to be prepared to receive the ultimate Christmas gift: Jesus.

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.

“Armadale” by Wilkie Collins: The Mystery of Fate vs. Choice

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Hello friends! If you enjoy novels filled with intrigue and suspense, then this week’s post is definitely for you! It is a review of the novel “Armadale” written by the great English novelist and master of the mytery/sensation genre, Wilkie Collins. I can safely say that I’ve became engrossed with the plot of every novel from Wilkie Collins (that I’ve read so far). However, his novels contain much more than riveting plots: the characters are unique and the themes explored are interesting. Thus, for me, “Armadale” is much more than a mystery novel; it is a rich exploration of the idea of fate vs. choice.

The novel explores the story of two men named Allan Armadale, both of whose fathers are also named Allan Armadale (confusing, right?). One of the Allans goes by the alias “Ozias Midwinter,” so for clarity’s sake, I will use his alias. Although the focus of the story is on the junior Allan Armadales, it begins rather enigmatically, with a description of Midwinter’s father’s dying request, to have someone complete a letter to his young son. In this letter, he explains his own complicated history with Allan’s father; a history that is filled with deceit and tainted with murder and revenge. Midwinter’s father ends his letter with a dire warning to his son, to stay away from the other Allan Armadale (the son, as the father had already passed away) at all costs. He also cautions him to avoid the young maid who assisted the other Allan’s wife in the deceit that robbed him of his fiancée.

Allan grows up comfortably with his widowed mother and friend, the Reverend Brock. He is, however, sheltered and isolated from any other family. Midwinter has a hard life full of struggle and almost devoid of affection. When their paths cross, Allan treats Midwinter with a brotherly kindness that Midwinter is unaccustomed to, which results in a deep friendship between the two young men. However, when Midwinter comes of age, he receives his father’s letter, and the knowledge of their fathers’ history and his father’s warnings cause an internal turmoil, that persists for most of the story. He is constantly torn between his desire to stay with Allan (as Allan wishes him to do) and his desire to protect Allan by leaving him, as he fears being an instrument of harm, due to his father’s superstitions. He withholds the truth of his name and their family histories, out of respect for Allan’s mother. The inner turmoil experienced by Midwinter is exacerbated by a dream sequence he has, which appears to come true during the course of the novel, piece by piece.

Conflict then threatens to separate the two friends, in the form of an attractive woman, named Lydia Gwilt, who is the charming, intelligent and ruthless villain of the story. She enters their lives with the nefarious intention of marrying Allan for his money. Both Allans fall in love with her instantly, but unknown to them, she is the servant girl from Midwinter’s father’s letter (all grown up). When her plans to marry Allan are thwarted, Midwinter confesses his love and his real name to her, which opens the door for a new plan for revenge. She marries Midwinter and plans to have Allan murdered, impersonate his widow, and collect his inheritance. I will not give away the ending, but I can say, that in the end, love wins.

Throughout the novel, the reader is left to wonder how to interpret Midwinter’s dream. Should we believe the rational explanation Midwinter is given by a doctor, or is it a warning of what is to come in the future? Midwinter himself considers this question and is often torn between a fatalistic view and a rational one. Rev. Brock is the calm voice of reason, and his view opposes that of Midwinter’s father. His father believes that if fate brings the two Allans together, it could only be for disaster, but Rev. Brock believes that the brotherly love between the two young men, could be the salvation of them both. It is this conviction, that keeps Midwinter from leaving Allan completely, despite his own superstitious tendencies.

The way the story progressed was quite engrossing. Even I found myself wondering whether or not Midwinter and Allan were doomed by fate to hurt each other. I questioned, along with Lydia Gwilt, whether she was also a blind instrument of fate and vengeance. Was the dream meant to be a prediction of future bad events that were fated to happen, a warning for the Allans, or just an ordinary dream? While I thought that Midwinter was overly superstitious, I understood why he was. The way that many of the major plot points were set up could cast doubt in the reader’s mind as well. It was brilliant writing.

My view is that, although fate may have thrown the two Allans together, whether they a proved to be beneficial or detrimental to each other depended on their own choices. Allan chose to be the good-hearted, loyal friend he was. Midwinter chose to protect Allan at any sacrifice to himself. He also chose to marry Lydia Gwilt. Fate may have brought Lydia Gwilt into their lives, but she chose cold-hearted vengeance and tried to punish an innocent man. She fought briefly to be a better woman for the sake for love, but then chose to break her husband’s heart and betray his trust. She herself becomes caught up in Midwinter’s superstitions, believing that fate is pushing her along a path of wickedness, but in the end, her choice determines the outcome. The novel takes the reader on an exciting journey that illustrates the potential for love (both brotherly and romantic) to heal the past and conquer fate.

If you’ve read this novel, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys classic novels or mystery/suspense/sensation stories. It’s also great reading for those wonderful rainy days when you curl up with a cozy blanket and a good book. This is actually the third time I’ve read it, and I can see myself re-reading it again in the future. Happy reading!

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.

The Importance of the Two-Talent Guy: Don’t Let Comparison Stop Your Shine.

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I wonder why it never occurred to me before that Jesus Christ is a master story-teller. Throughout the gospels, Jesus communicates deep life-lessons in the form of stories, known as parables. One of my favourite parables is the parable of the talents. It is the story of a rich man who entrusts his property to his servants in preparation for a journey. He distributes money in varying amounts, according to the capability of each servant. One guy receives five talents, the other receives two talents, and the last guy receives one talent. A talent, in this story, represents a specific (large) sum of money.

The first two servants take the money and double it, whereas the last guy, out of fear, buries his talent in the ground. When the master returns and enquires what they’ve done, he is pleased with the first two servants, who have worked hard, traded and doubled the money. They are, of course, rewarded. He is annoyed and disappointed by the third servant, who did not even think to invest the talent. The talent he received is then taken away and given to the five-talent guy. The moral of the story is: we are all given gifts (and talents, but not necessarily the monetary kind) by God, and we are expected to use them to benefit the world we live in. I think this is a universal message, whether or not you are a Christian or believe in God: each of us is unique, gifted and have our own individual sparkle that is meant to be shared, to make ourselves and our world, a better place.

Now, I know I cannot speak for every sermon in every Catholic/Christian church everywhere, but, my experience has been that the focus is always on comparing and contrasting the five-talent guy with the one-talent guy. The two-talent guy is often lumped with the five-talent guy as an example of what we are meant to do. I went along with this perception, until one day, a question popped into my head: Why did Jesus include the two-talent guy? We could just compare the five- and one-talent guys and get the point, can’t we? Or was Jesus using this two-talent guy to show that God is pleased once we make constructive use of whatever talent we’ve been given, whether is two or five? These questions really nagged me, so I prayed and pondered.

Soon enough, another question came to me (which, surprisingly, turned out to be the answer to the previous questions): How easy would it have been for the two-talent guy to compare himself to the five-talent guy and end up with a different result? He could easily have said “Well I only got two, so I can’t do as much as he can. I might as well not bother.” If you think about it, the amount he received was closer to the one-talent guy than the five-talent guy (two is closer to one, than it is to five). The more I reflected on this, the more I paid attention to this character. Why? Because sometimes I feel like while I received two talents, I behave like the one-talent guy instead.

Here is where I present myself in an unflattering, but truthful, light. I can think of many times when I was afraid to do something that I was good at, simply because I compared myself to someone else, who, I thought, could do it better. It was a peculiar, and, I daresay, selfish combination of pride and low self-confidence that made me say “So-and-so does x way better than I can. So although I’ve been asked to do this, I am going to say no. I am too afraid to try, because I am not AS GOOD AS so-and-so.” (Notice the fear, as well as the selfishness). I know, it is a decidedly un-unicorn way of thinking, and I am ashamed of myself. I remember once hearing (I can’t remember from whom), that shyness was selfish, because you are meant to share your wonderful self with those around you. When you hide your gifts, who does that benefit? Nobody, not even you. That statement rocked me to my core, because like the proverbial seed that is cast into the wind, it fell right into my garden. (yes, yes, I’m shy. Oddly enough people don’t seem to believe that anymore, but it is true).

Does every singer belt out notes as powerfully and melodiously as Whitney Houston did? No, but we still appreciate their singing. Does every poet and author write like Dr. Maya Angelou or Charles Dickens? No; they have different styles and strengths. But we appreciate their stories and poetry. Just because there is someone who you think is more talented in the area that you are gifted in, does not mean that your talent is unnecessary, or unappreciated. You never know who might need exactly what you have to offer. It should be noted that talents are not limited to music, art, cooking etc. Maybe you have a natural gift for humour, empathetic listening, organizing, gardening, reasoning, teaching, writing, encouraging, thinking logically, planning, leading…whatever your gifts are, you are meant to use them (for good), develop them, share them.

I want to be more like the five- and two-talent people. I want to recognize what my gifts are, develop them, and share them, regardless of whether I think I’m the best or not. It’s easier said than done though; even as I write these words, I can hear that little voice telling me that someone else could probably write this better than I am. But I’m still going to write it. Maybe someone needs to hear it. I’ve been blessed by the testimonies and hard-earned wisdom of others, so why not share mine, in the hopes that it will bless someone else?

I firmly believe that we all have our own unique sparkle, and the more we share it, the brighter our shine, the more empowered people around us feel to share their own sparkle. The more we all share our shine and help each other, the brighter the world will be, and we could all use a little more light. So don’t get caught up comparing your gifts, your sparkle, to someone else’s and end up burying it (I’m saying this for myself as well). Recognize, acknowledge, develop and share your sparkle with love, and make this world a brighter place.

“Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire.” – St. Catherine of Siena.

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness

The Question of “Why?”

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It should come as no surprise that I am a big fan of lifestyle content (this is a lifestyle blog, after all). I follow quite a few influencers/speakers/vloggers/writers on Youtube and Instagram. The content they create ranges from makeup and beauty, to body positivity and fashion, to lifestyle and organization/motivation, to religious and even food. I know that we often hear/read about the negative effects of social media, but I can honestly say that, even before the pandemic, social media has benefitted me in several ways.

I’ve gotten so much information (for free) that has helped me to improve my life in many ways over the past couple years. Thanks to these women sharing their own knowledge and experiences, my makeup skills improved, I developed skincare routines, my self-confidence has greatly improved (more on this in a future post), I feel much more organized and I am better equipped to work towards my goals. I’ve found makeup and skincare products that I love and work well for me, am improving my relationship with food and exercise, gotten recipe, decor and organization ideas and even found (and read) great self-help and religious books.

This was all possible because some phenomenal women decided to share their experiences and the wisdom they’ve gained through those experiences. I know the constant sharing can seem like vanity to some, but I suppose it depends on the demeanor and intentions of the influencer/blogger. Most of what I look at, seems to come from a place of “Hey, I’m doing this and it works for me. It may help you too, if you’d like to try,” or, “Here’s what I learned/know in my area of expertise. I’m sharing it so you can learn and know it too,” or “I read this book and learned so much. Maybe you’d like to check this out,” or, “I’ve tried this product, it didn’t work for me because of x, y and z, but it might work for you if you don’t have these concerns.”

You see, for me, watching their videos/reading their posts are almost like receiving suggestions from a friend. Do I agree with every single post? No, of course not. Do I do everything they say, even when I do agree? The answer here is also no. I look/read, see what aligns with my values and goals, choose what seems practical for my particular situation, implement, assess and adjust when necessary.

Furthermore, some bloggers/influencers create a sense of community based around their interests or even shared experiences. I can think of one influencer in particular; I enjoy watching her videos, not simply because I think her content is great, but also because I can relate to some of her personal experiences, quirks and struggles. Online communities can be positive places where you can connect with, or at least, be aware of, far more people who have similar experiences or shared interests than if you simply attempted to meet them in person. This is especially true for my body positivity journey. I have been exposed to a more positive way of thinking about my own body, as well as my health, online. I seriously doubt that the growth that I’ve experience could have happened without it (or happened as quickly). God works in mysterious ways.

One person sharing how they’ve journeyed to a better body image can be cathartic for others who are struggling with negative body image. One woman sharing about her curly hair routine can impart the confidence to someone who is afraid to return to her natural hair texture as well as give her advice on how to do so. One mother admitting that she is exhausted and not-always-perfect-although-she-wants-to-be and how she deals with it, can help other tired mothers feel seen and understood. One courageous wife and mother sharing about her mental health struggles and her journey towards wholeness as a catholic woman, can help so many of us with similar struggles feel less alone. Even when less serious interests are shared, like, let’s say, my love for unicorns, it leaves room for other unicorn-loving folks to say “Hey, I love unicorns too!”

Herein lies the major reason for my blog: I would like to do the same (the other major reason of course, is that I want to write). I would like to create a space where we can come to share our likes, anything that has helped us and what we have learned so that others can benefit. I would like to share tips and tricks that have improved my life, products that I love so that others can enjoy them too, as well as anything that added a little extra sparkle to my life (books, movies, food, funny stories), or that helped grow my faith. I want my writing to benefit others, to be useful, insightful, or just plain old funny (because laughter really is a blessing) and to inspire. Therein lies my “why.”

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.

Wearytales Part Two: Tired Tina’s Lunchtime Fiasco.

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Hello friends! We left our protagonist, Tina (or Tired Tina as she began to mentally call herself), in the midst of an identity crisis during an icebreaker at a conference. Fortunately, by the time her turn came to speak, Tina recalled enough interesting, relevant facts about herself to share (albeit she lacked the brilliance she was initially aiming for). Unfortunately, due, to her exhaustion, the speed of her thoughts did not match the speed of her tongue, so she tripped over a few words.

I would like to able to tell you that the rest of the conference flew by without any further incident. However, that would not only be untrue, but I would be omitting the climax of the story. Although, I am pleased to announce, Tina managed to muster up enough energy to pay close attention to the morning’s presentations, lunch was a debacle. It began well; Tina ran into one of her former classmates who worked for another company, and they sat down together to eat lunch and catch up. However, the tiredness that Tina tried to ignore soon manifested itself.

“Tina, what are you doing?” asked Jane (aka her friend).

Tina looked down in bewilderment: she was valiantly armed with a knife and spoon. Her opponent was a rather large stewed chicken thigh.

“This can’t be right, I remember taking a fork when we got lunch!” Tina said.

“Maybe you took two spoons when you were taking a spoon for your coffee?” Jane suggested helpfully.

Tina looked at her coffee cup accusingly (a short fuse can be a side effect of exhaustion), as if somehow this was the coffee’s fault (it wasn’t). She lifted the handle of the spoon that lay inside, only to realize that the spoon was, in fact, the missing fork. Jane, who was known for her kindness, looked concerned.

“Tina, are you okay? You look a little tired.”

Tina opened her mouth to sigh melodramatically, but then quickly had to conceal an emerging yawn.

“I’m good, Jane. It’s just that I’ve been staying up late, so I’m a bit tired,” she explained lethargically.

Tina was about to explain herself further, but she noticed someone approaching them. At first, she wasn’t sure who it was, but then she recognized the arrogant sashaying step, tight bun, plastic smile and high-pitched voice with the fake accent. It was her university nemesis. As soon as she heard the “Greetings ladies!” and saw the ostentatious wave, Tina felt her blood pressure climb slightly. Ordinarily, Tina could plaster a professional smile on her face and bear it, however, in her current state of tiredness, her patience was lower than usual.

“Jane, quick, I need to leave before she reaches the table. I don’t have the patience to sit through hearing her boast about her career, while she tries to macko (mind) my business and makes snide remarks.” Tina whispered agitatedly.

“Quick, pretend your phone is ringing!” Jane suggested.

In a panic, Tina turned quickly to grab her handbag from the back of the chair where it hung. Sadly, sometimes tiredness can also affect one’s coordination. It certainly affected Tina’s coordination; her quick movements were also careless, which resulted in the grand debacle: her handbag flipped upside down. Tina started helplessly as the contents of her bag started spilling onto the floor through the half-opened zipper. She gasped at the sound of her phone hitting the floor like a ripe mango “budups!”

As bad luck had it, exactly two seconds before the contents of Tina’s bag hit the floor, the room experienced one of those inexplicable, sudden moments of stillness (where everyone stops talking simultaneously for no discernible reason). Of course, several people heard the noise and naturally turned to see its source. Tina sat in her chair fumbling with her handbag, with her face turning pink in embarrassment. To add insult to injury, her debacle only served to increase the speed of her nemesis’ approach, and increase the width of her plastic smile.

Jane hurriedly attempted to assist Tina to gather her things. Her nemesis got closer and grinned broadly.

“Maybe we should, like, call you tipsy Tina! That was, like, such a disaster! And like, everyone noticed because of like, how quiet the room suddenly became. I would have been mor-ti-fied (that is exactly how she pronounced it)! What else have you been up to, besides being a shining example of gracefulness?” she asked in a snarky, loud tone of voice and an ever-widening plastic grin.

Tina gritted her teeth and was about to retort, when Jane gently laid her hand on Tina’s arm to stop her.

“Tina, I think they said the booths would be open for viewing during lunch. We should take a walk now if we want to have enough time to see them all. Sorry girl, we’ll have to catch you another time.” Jane intervened, as she hurriedly helped Tina to gather up her errant things and pack them into the offending handbag.

“Yes, sorry. Bye!” was all Tina, whose patience by now had been fully exhausted (and who was actually mor-ti-fied), could trust herself to say.

“If dying of embarrassment were possible…” Tina said after her nemesis sashayed away.

“No don’t worry, it wasn’t that bad. We all have our moments,” Jane reassured Tina. We all need a Jane in our lives to remind us that these moments are actually not the end of the world.

That brings us to the end of the second part of our wearytales. I hope you enjoyed it (and I hope you are well-rested, so you don’t have similar adventures).

Peace, love and sparkles!

The Unicorn of Awesomeness