Wearytales: The Adventures of Tired Tina

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Hello friends! Welcome to today’s wearytale. Before I introduce you to our protagonist, Tired Tina, let me explain what a wearytale is. I’m sure we’ve all heard about fairy tales: wonderful, enchanting stories filled with princes, princesses, talking animals, mythical creatures, magic and excitement. Well, a wearytale is absolutely not that. It’s literally a story about a tired person. Now, why would I want to craft a tale where the protagonist is in the throes of weariness? Simply because we often have the most ridiculous and amusing experiences when we are just a little bit too tired. Life is full of funny stories, if you know where to look.

Our protagonist’s name is Tina. She is a hardworking almost-thirty-year-old who prides herself on being efficient and organized. Even her organizers have organizers. If Tina was a nation, two of her national watchwords would be “efficiency” and “organization.” Tina was often accused of being perfectionist, and rightly so. This is actually why Tina is so tired in this tale: she had a report to prepare and present in addition to her normal work, on short notice. Since Tina was a perfectionist, the report and the presentation had to be perfect, while maintaining the perfection in every other area of her life. Thus, she ended up working hours into the night perfecting both. Naturally, several weeks of minimal, anxiety-ridden sleep left her in a less-than-alert state, which had transformed Tina from efficient and organized to tired and disorganized. It is at this point in her life that we meet Tina. So, without further ado (insert elegant flourish here), I give you my first wearytale: The Adventures of Tired Tina.

Tina was sound asleep. She had crawled into bed at around 11pm last night, but between the next day’s anxiety and a very persistent mosquito who serenaded her left ear several times, she didn’t fall asleep until 2 am. At 5 am, while she was seemingly dead to the world, a faint musical sound pierced her slumber.

“What’s that sound?” she wondered groggily as she rolled over to return to sleep. A few seconds later, a series of questions wandered into her semi-consciousness,

“What’s going on? What day is it? Why am I hearing music?”

She shifted slightly and drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep. Exactly twelve minutes later (I checked), knowledge suddenly illuminated her mind like the sun piercing through the clouds of drowsiness. She shot up and exclaimed,

“Wait, today is a work day! I need to get up!”

However, the exclamation carried far more energy than her actual movements. Eventually she found herself lazily going through the motions of preparing for work. She was almost completely dressed (with minimal consideration, I might add; she put just enough effort so that she looked “professionally presentable”), when another crucial memory pierced the clouds of grogginess: she had to attend a work conference today. Normally she would look forward to this, but when you are at this level of tired, everything seems either too difficult or a disaster. She grumpily went back into her closet to choose another outfit, however, in her sleepy state, she misjudged the force she tugged at a hanger with, and several shirts tumbled out. She stood for a moment looking dejectedly at the fallen shirts. She heaved an exasperated sigh.

“Well isn’t this just great!” she sarcastically muttered at nobody in particular.

Now, normally Tina would have picked up the shirts, smoothed them out with care and hung them back neatly. However, this morning, Tina was extremely tired and close to running late, so she lazily dropped them onto her partially made bed and proceeded to raise what she thought was a glass of orange juice to her lips. A wave of confusion swept over her as she tasted milk. A visit to the kitchen served to clear up her confusion: she had poured the juice into her coffee and her milk into the glass.

“That’s the last time I ever buy those coloured drinking glasses again.” she muttered, forgetting that on an ordinary day, she thought these same glasses were quite unique and pretty.

Eventually, Tina finished getting ready and was about to head out the door when her keys fell out of her hands. As she looked down at her feet, her frustration at gravity (and physics in general) was compounded by the fact that her shoes were mismatched. She let out a lengthy “steups” (otherwise known as “she sucked her teeth”),

“What kind of idiot buys the same style of shoes in black and dark brown?”

She was, in fact, the kind of “idiot” who did exactly that. Whenever she found comfortable, stylish, reasonably-priced work shoes of good quality, she would often buy two pairs in different colours. However, when one is tired, one sometimes forgets the logic behind one’s previous decisions, even if they were sensible ones. So Tina strode back into her bedroom full of purpose. Of course, the reason for her return to her bedroom eluded her tired brain as soon as she crossed the door post.

“What did I come in here for?” she asked herself in frustration. “I know I came in here for something.”

After several seconds of futilely pondering the elusive purpose of her actions, Tina left her room. Naturally she remembered why she had gone into the room immediately after leaving it. She changed her shoes, double-checked herself in the mirror, and left.

I would like to say that Tina made it to the conference without further incident, but that would be untruthful. She was still groggy, so she mechanically drove to work and almost forgot that she was supposed to head to the conference instead. This, of course, did not serve to improve her already sour mood (or help her to arrive sooner). She found a parking spot far away from the entrance and forced herself to briskly trot to the conference room. She made it into the room mere seconds before the end of registration. She was now tired, grumpy and just a little sweaty. As she hastily attempted to complete registration (while berating herself for not being early), she mechanically filled out the form and handed it back to the staff. She hung the lanyard with the name tag around her neck on the second attempt (during the first attempt, it got caught on her bun, because tiredness can affect one’s coordination) and was about to find a seat when a polite voice said,

“Excuse me ma’am. Would you please make some corrections to your form? You signed the wrong date and your signature is in the wrong place.”

Sure enough, between her exhaustion, haste and bad mood, she had.

“Well isn’t that just dandy!” she sarcastically said to herself. I might add that the increase in her sarcasm was directly proportional to the increase in her grumpiness.

During the course of the morning, she was put into a small group and had to participate in an icebreaker. Naturally she was in no mood to be sociable, but she plastered a cordial smile on her face and was determined to shine.

“So let’s go around the group and introduce ourselves, explain a little about your experience in this field and say something interesting about yourself.”

Tina mentally rolled her eyes at the facilitator. When one is tired and grumpy, one sometimes becomes unreasonably irritated at energetic, cheerful people. Actually, one sometimes becomes unreasonably irritated at almost anybody. Tina was at that stage of tiredness. Despite this, she was determined to say something intelligent, brilliant and possibly witty, but when it was almost her turn, she promptly forgot every interesting and relevant fact about herself and her work experience. When one is tired, the chances of forgetting, well, anything, increase exponentially.

“At this point, all I can think of, is that I’m tired. I’ve been tired for so many days now, that I think it’s becoming one of my personality traits. I’m tired Tina,” she soliloquized.

And that, friends, is where the name Tired Tina came from (well, that and my appreciation for an apt alliteration).

If you enjoyed following Tired Tina’s adventures, let me know. I would love to write another wearytale. Also, feel free to share some of your own amusing experiences from when you were tired, and if you’d like, I can write them into another one of Tired Tina’s adventures.

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.

Of Robots, Unicorns, Juggling and Rest

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Don’t you find it ironic that we live in a world that simultaneously encourages us to pursue pleasure at all costs while also glorifying non-stop hustle? If we are supposed to enjoy life (as some people, not me, say: #yolo) while the hustle never ends, when are we supposed to enjoy it exactly? How is it, that everything is so much faster and more convenient, but we feel as if we are constantly in a rush, and have no time for anything else? We can cook/buy food faster than ever, but many of us don’t have time to savour the taste of our dishes. Smartphones are almost like little computers that make us almost always accessible and can provide information within seconds, yet many of us feel disconnected and overwhelmed. Remember when we needed planner books to keep track of our to-do lists and appointments, encyclopedias and physical books to do research, a calculator, a watch, a pen and notepad to take notes, a radio/CD player to listen to music and a TV to look at a show? (Honestly, I still use a planner; using cute stationery to plan your week/month really adds that extra pizzazz to the activity). Well, one device can do all of that, and more. Are you stuck at home because you’re social distancing due to a pandemic but wish you could see your friends? There’s an app for that (or several)! So then why, oh why, do I find myself being pushed towards becoming some kind of robot? (Also, will this post have more questions than answers? Stay tuned to the next paragraph to find out!)

I’ve noticed that many of us complain that we don’t have time to do certain things we want to do. Sometimes we complain about exhaustion, being overwhelmed or working for too long. Some people really seem to be constantly on-the-go. Within that group of people, there are those who complain about their constant busyness and deeply wish they had time to rest/spend quality time with loved ones/take a vacation/enjoy their meals/exercise/sleep/pursue their passion/pray more etc. But then, there are those who wear their busyness like a badge of honour. I know you know what I mean. Some of us complain when we stay up into the wee hours of the morning to complete some task. Others proudly boast about their lack of sleep and walk around with the expectations that we should all deeply desire to be working at 3 am every morning. I’ve heard people say that successful people do not sleep seven hours every night. I don’t know about you, but when I am not well rested, the struggle to be the-best-version-of-myself is definitely more of a difficult one (and one that I’m more likely to lose). So that’s one piece of advice that I will not be taking.

While I enjoy some of life’s simple pleasures (#livelaughlove) and aim to be productive (#unicornproductivity), I do not subscribe to either the belief of constant-pleasure-at-all-costs, or hustle-24/7. I’d like to be more balanced: yes I’d like to enjoy life (but not at the expense of others, or my own soul) and be productive (but not overworked). However, sometimes I find myself slipping out of the wonderfulness of being a unicorn, into being a robot. This may sound mildly ridiculous, but I’ve often had to chide myself, “you are not a robot, you can take a break and sometimes, you really cannot do ALL of the things.”

I admit, sometimes we have a lot of things to accomplish, and it may require longer hours and greater effort. At other times, we find ourselves with new responsibility or activity in our schedules that we need to adjust to. A new ball is thrown into the midst of the ones we are already juggling. Too often, I’ve found myself making this mistake when some new activity/task is added to my to-do list: I expect to fit in perfectly. Take time to adjust to this new thing? Me? Of course not. I’ll continue to do my routines and accomplish ALL the things I did before, along with this new thing, without a hitch. Was a new ball added for me to juggle? I’ll juggle all perfectly without ever dropping a single one! In our local parlance, what name adjustment? Then, of course, a ball drops, or momentarily slips out of my fingers, or, worse yet, I drop all the balls because I’ve exhausted myself, and I feel like a failure.

Or could there be another way? (And could I find another question to ask? The answer is yes, to both questions). There was one particular period of my life when I found myself dropping all the balls several times (I really like this juggling metaphor), which led to a lot of negative self-talk and despair. The turning point came when I heard a small voice say to me: You are not a robot. Doesn’t that seem silly? Of course I’m not a robot, I’m a human. Humans get tired, hungry, sad, angry, demotivated…Humans need to rest and recharge. Humans don’t do all the things perfectly well 100% of the time. I don’t function well in a robotic, do-every-single-thing-perfectly-all-the-time-without-a-break setting. God knew that we needed time to rest…He set the example by taking a day off. He knew we would make mistakes and miss the mark, so He offers us forgiveness. Even the animals rest: some of them are designed to rest during the day, and some at night. I expected too much of myself; I cannot do ALL of the things perfectly at ALL times. God knows that, so why didn’t I?

I am not a robot. It’s a simple statement, but a powerful one that I’ve often had occasion to repeat, even up to a few days ago. The 24/7 hustle/perfectionist mindset is so insidious that I still have to consciously remind myself to let go of the guilt when rest is necessary because I simply cannot juggle all the balls anymore. The journey to balancing rest, enjoyment and productivity is probably one I’ll be on for the rest of my life. However, now when a new ball gets thrown into the set I’m already juggling, I do (well, I try, because hey, progess, not perfection) two things:

1. Allow time for adjustment. I try give myself some time and space to get used to having this extra ball to juggle. We all need time to figure how and where this new ball will fit in with what we’re already juggling. We also need to accept the fact that we may drop a ball or two more often while we’re adjusting. Sometimes I even put a ball down while I adjust, and then add it back when I feel like I’ve figured out to manage the new one. (FYI, this juggling thing really is a metaphor. I can’t actually physically juggle more than two of anything).
2. Prioritize. I’m sure I got this advice from several different Youtube videos and maybe books, but I can’t remember which ones. In your to-do list (whether it is written, typed or mental), figure out which things you absolutely must do today, and which ones you can leave for tomorrow. In any given day, there are certain things I must accomplish that day, some things I would really like to accomplish that day, and others that I could probably postpone. I find this especially helpful for days when my mental health isn’t so great; prioritize a few things that, I’ve done them, I know I’ve accomplished something useful.

The temptation to admire the constant-hustle-no-rest lifestyle is one that I’ve sometimes succumbed to. Instead, I now admire the lifestyle that involves balancing (although not always perfectly) priorities with rest and innocent enjoyment. I’m definitely not a robot. But a unicorn on the wonderful, non-linear journey to becoming the best-version-of-herself? I could certainly be that. That’s what I want for me, and for everybody really: for everyone to understand their unique wonderfulness, feel loved and appreciated and tread joyfully the path to becoming the best-version-of-themselves.

Peace, love and sparkles!

The Unicorn of Awesomeness

The Maddening Journey through Thomas Hardy’s “Far from the Madding Crowd.”

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As a card-carrying member of the “Happily Ever After” club (due to my determined preference for happy endings), I ought not to be a fan of Thomas Hardy’s novels. I’ve read several of his books, and thus far, the endings have ranged from bittersweet (at best) to downright depressing (at worst). However, like the popular character, known as the “glutton for punishment,” I keep reading (and re-reading) his novels. I love his writing style, his descriptions, his command of the English language, and like many fans of classic literature, the English countryside (because where else would the novels be set?). I also appreciate the depth of his novels.

In general, I deeply appreciate stories that are so well-written (or portrayed, in the case of movies/TV series), that I become emotionally involved. These kinds of stories have well-defined characters (so well-defined, that after a few chapters, I feel like I know them personally), who go on their own journeys of self-development throughout the plot. I laugh at the witty moments, rejoice with the characters’ joy, shed a tear at their sufferings and of course, quarrel when I think they’re making an obviously bad decision. In the case of Bathsheba, the female protagonist of “Far from the Madding Crowd,” there were several bad decisions. In fact, it was a series of bad decisions that compounded into a huge, tragic mess which affected not just her, but other characters as well . (Y’all, I promise I’m not being overly-dramatic, it was that bad #nospoilersthough). However, the mess would’ve been less…messy (heh) if the other characters had also not made bad decisions. The point of this whole “bad decision” rigmarole is that I was so emotionally invested in this story, that I really was maddened by all this bad decision-making. However, frustration quickly turned into heartache when the consequences of several characters’ decisions became evident.

The word “maddened” is probably a bit hyperbolic; what I really mean is that I was somewhat frustrated. I experienced the genuine frustration of a friend who sees another friend making a decision (several actually) that could potentially end in disaster, but cannot intervene. I admired Bathsheba; she was a strong, independent, decidedly-herself type of woman who decided she would run the farm she inherited alone (#bossbabe). In a way, I feel as if I stepped into the shoe (only one side of the pair, not both) of Gabriel Oak, the male protagonist (and the most faithful and selfless of Bathsheba’s admirers). Why did I say only one shoe? Well, quite frankly, he was both a firm friend and deeply in love with her, so technically I only stepped into the shoe of friendship.

Thus, out of the steps I took in the shoe of friendship, I can imagine, as both her friend and a man who was deeply in love with her, how frustrating (and heartbreaking) it was for him to see her make decisions that resulted in her suffering. However, he (unlike me), was able to counsel her otherwise (and then witness how his advice was rejected, every single time). I don’t think he (or anybody except Thomas Hardy) could’ve predicted the mess that resulted from her decisions, as well as the poor decisions of the men around her. I think I keep harping on her decisions because I was more disappointed by her, than by the men. In a way, I expected better of the quirky, strong-willed woman, than to flirt with a man she wasn’t interested in (Farmer Boldwood) and then marry another man who was essentially, a flirtatious, selfish flake (Sergeant Troy). I really thought that the poor choices she made were not in keeping with her character, and while bad decisions are bad decisions, I expected the Sergeant Troy, the flake, to be, well, flaky. As for poor Mr. Boldwood, that whole storyline was just tragic.

On another note, I wonder if Thomas Hardy deliberately gave Gabriel the surname Oak to hint at his character. I associate oak trees with strength, constancy, endurance and even shelter. Gabriel was all of those things; he lost the woman he loved to others, he was brave enough to tell her the truth when she asked and endured Bathsheba’s initial rejection and her rebukes. He encouraged her to do the right thing, even when it would be to his own detriment. He was also a faithful friend who always looked after her best interests, even when he gave up hope of his love being requited. I think I was mildly (but not madly) in love with him throughout the story. I also wonder if Thomas Hardy deliberately wrote the story such that you could relate to Gabriel’s heartache (on some level), based on seeing Bathsheba making decisions that resulted in her own suffering.

I’ve tried to write this entire review without giving away any major spoilers. Actually, I’m not even sure this could be called a review; it’s more of an amalgamation of some of my main thoughts after re-reading this novel. This is a great rainy-day book; just imagine the rhythmic sound of rain falling on the roof, coupled with a chilly atmosphere and a brisk, cold breeze. Then add a fluffy blanket and comfy chair, some hot cocoa and your comfort food of choice, and this novel. I’d suggest you take your time to read it; savour the way the writer crafts his sentences and descriptions (especially of the setting). Thomas Hardy really has a way with words, that (almost) reconciles me to the fact that none his novels (that I’ve read yet) have a completely happy ending. This ending falls into the “bittersweet” category, but it is well worth the read. Enjoy!

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.

Productivity tips from a unicorn

If I was to be completely honest, there are many times that my to-do list seems more like a ‘hope to do’ list (oops?). However, there are also many times when the unicorn of productivity bursts forth in all its glamour, and I accomplish all of the things (every last one of them, and more). Here are some of the tips that help to transform a unicorn of awesomeness into an (awesome) unicorn of productivity:

1. Start the day right – This tip is not original; many people (saints, bloggers, experts and more) have given this advice. For me, starting the day right means that I:
   • Connect with God and yourself. I believe in God, so I always try to connect with Him in the first few moments of my day. I like to spend some time in peace and quiet, with God and myself, before I’m bombarded with other people’s thoughts and agendas.
   • Show gratitude. Maybe yesterday was the worst day imaginable, maybe it was unicorn-awesome or maybe it was merely okay. Start today with some positivity: think of a few things that you are grateful for. Try to avoid the generic things that people say, like life, health etc (not that you shouldn’t be grateful for those as well). Instead focus on specific things that might’ve happened within the last 24 hours, like that phone call you had with your best friend where you had a good old belly-laugh, the cookies that were oh-so-yummy (excuse me while I enjoy some), the flowers that brightened your day, that juicy ripe mango, the fact that you actually went for a walk instead of just thinking about it…Sometimes we forget the importance of the joy found in these moments. Savour them, appreciate them and be grateful.
   • Focus. Remind yourself of what you want to accomplish, not just today, but in the long run. It is far too easy to get caught up in daily routines and forget your larger purpose and your dreams.
   • Do something you enjoy. For example, I enjoy eating good food, so I ensure that my breakfast is both nourishing and tasty (plus I’m not exactly the happiest of unicorns when I’m famished). I can look forward to that. Perhaps you could play some of your favourite music, work on a hobby, do a workout you enjoy, dance, sing…whatever floats your boat.

2. Listen to music while you work – If you aren’t in a meeting (virtual or otherwise), have some music playing in the background. I like to listen to instrumental music, especially when I’m feeling unmotivated. Actually, if we want to be more specific, the first thing I do when I sit down to work, is to go straight to Youtube, find either a playlist, long video or live channel that plays that jazz/bossa nova type music that you associate with small cafes (it really is a vibe, and I love cafes) and play it. It has helped me to stay focused many times .

3. Take breaks. This is important especially if you’re in front of a computer screen: look away for a few seconds, get up, use the bathroom, stretch, eat, do a short, unrelated task/fun activity, take a power nap, put on some upbeat music (like soca) and dance it out (it’s a good break activity, to be honest).

4. Bribe yourself. Yes, I said what I said. Sometimes when I really, really am not feeling that productivity vibe, but I absolutely must work on something, I bribe myself. It goes something like : Ok me, you just need to start this and work on it for the next 15 minutes. Then you can take a break, do something enjoyable, and (hopefully) return. Or, I’ll break up the big task into smaller tasks and decide which smaller task I can handle at that point in time.

5. Stay hydrated and nourished. Find quick, easy, yummy, balanced meals and snacks (or meal-prep) that you can access easily, have some treats you can enjoy after and drink enough water (dehydration headaches are awful!).

6. As much as possible, set a time to stop working. Sometimes I get caught up, end up working longer than I should and then after a few days of mimicking a robot, the burnout is too real. Decide when the cut-off for working is, stick to it, and include some self-care and leisure after. I was often tempted to accuse myself of being unproductive for doing this, until I realized that my productivity level is at zero when I’m burnt out. So I’d rather a moderate, consistent level of productivity than a spurt of over-productivity followed by no productivity because I crashed and burnt out.

7. Set priorities. What are the most important things you have to accomplish today? Sometimes I’m just too tired to do everything, or sometimes things happen that change my plans. When you’re setting your intentions for the day, figure out the top 3 or 4 things you must do today, and focus your energy on getting those things done. That way, even if there’s an upset in your schedule or you simply lacked the energy to do all the things, you would’ve done the most important things.

8. Organize your workspace. I have pictures of bible quotes, an inspirational quote and a unicorn decoration, along with the things that are necessary for me to accomplish my work (pens, pencils, books, calculator etc). Remember, it is possible for something, or somewhere, to be both cute and functional (I love to add a little unicorn princess flair to everything). You want a space in which you can function well, but which also reflects your style a bit to help your mood.

Now, I am not saying that all of these tips will work for you. These are simply some suggestions based on what I’ve found helped me to successfully be in “unicorn productivity mode.” Additionally, remember that sometimes you really do simply need to rest. Feel free to share any of your useful tips in the comments!

Peace, love and sparkles,

The Unicorn of Awesomeness.