Honestly, when I was younger (I am still young, of course), I thought my hair was an ungovernable, frizzy mess (sorry, curls!). I saw all the Disney princesses (at that time), and the Barbie dolls with long, straight, sleek hair, and being the ultimate girly-girl that I was (using the past tense loosely here, because I still love all the pink things), I wished that I had “princess hair”. Instead, my hair was a straight up rebel that was always worn in one of three hairstyles in an attempt to contain it: one long braid, two long braids or tight curls for special occasions. It got boring really fast. Sometimes, I’d fight my hair with a brush and too much hair grease in an attempt to make it straighter and shinier (not a good idea). Of course, that was a losing battle that also damaged my hair.
In my childish wisdom, I wanted to change my hair texture but I wasn’t allowed to straighten it and I had no flatiron. So I just accepted that my hair, although long, would never look good worn open. Then I saw it…a girl on TV with hair similar to mine, and it was actually open (gasp) and gorgeous (gasp again, but add more drama)! Her hair was a loosely defined mixture of curls and waves, blowing freely in the breeze. Her hair looks like mine, but has more defined curls and is less frizzy, I wonder if my hair could look like that? (Spoiler alert: it can, and does). That sight sparked a lifelong journey to figure out how best to care for my hair so that it could be its best self. (Side note: this, right here, is why representation matters: all it took was the sight of a girl with hair like mine, rocking her natural hair in all its glory, to start me on the journey of accepting my own hair).
So I did the research, figured out my curl pattern and experimented with different types of hair products (serums, hairspray, mousse, gel, creams) until I found the ones that unlocked it…my own natural curls. It ended up looking even better when I took my hairdresser’s advice about how to have it cut (because expert advice is sometimes needed, unless your aim is to purposely look like a poodle). The result of this process was me not just understanding my natural hair texture, but falling in love with it. I now rock my curls with confidence. Occasionally, I might switch it up and flatiron it, but I always come back to my natural hair texture.
Along this journey, I learned far more than just how to take care of my hair. When I accepted what my hair naturally was and tailored my care of it to what it uniquely needed, I got to see it at its best. I’d say the same is true for people: as each of us figures out who we truly are, we better figure out what we need and our purpose, which allows us to bloom into our best selves. I learned that from my hair; my curly, sometimes messy and own-way-ish hair that sometimes dictates its own hairstyle (Oh did you want a high ponytail? Nah, I’m feeling to be open and free, try again tomorrow!) I thought it just was just dry, frizzy and needed to be tamed. Instead, I needed to figure out its nature, accept it and learn how to care for (and style) it, so that I (and others) could see just how amazing it is.
So it is with us, we each need to figure out who were meant to be, accept ourselves and journey towards that. As Dolly Parton said “Figure out who you are, and do it on purpose…To find true success, you have to be you.” In learning to accept and take care of my hair, I began to learn the importance of accepting myself so that hopefully I could realize my own potential, and show up to the world as my best self. After all, that is what the world needs each of us to be: not the best copies of other people that we are not, but the best version of ourselves, our unique, beautiful selves.
Peace, love and sparkles,
The unicorn of awesomeness.
P.S. This post is not meant to knock people who enjoy altering their hair texture. Experimenting with different colours, textures and styles is fun, and if you enjoy doing that, I think that is also great (and you look fabulous!). This is just my personal journey towards acceptance of my natural hair and what I learned about acceptance in general. Have fun and do makes you feel confident and beautiful.
Shespeaksandwrites 